The exact origins of the first Order of the Sacred Tea Cup have been lost to the ravages of time. However, Latimer believes it was founded in 1783 by secret group who felt it was important to venerate the appreciation of a fine cup of tea in the age of coffee houses and dangerous magic.
The Order has been revitalised by the advent of the Tea and Jeopardy Patreon page, where you can declare your limitless brilliance and fine taste by becoming a patron of the show. Patronage accords a variety of privileges dependent on level and also ensures you will not be eaten by goblins. Becoming a patron of Tea and Jeopardy earns you the automatic status of “bless-poppet” and is guaranteed to make you at least fifteen percent* more lovely.
Find out more about the levels of the Order below….
Friend of the Order of the Sacred Teacup
Friends of the order are five times more likely to achieve happiness in life than the average human being. They also tend to be charming and warm individuals, prized among those that matter for their good taste.
Special Friend of the Order of the Sacred Teacup
Everyone wishes to be special but sadly, only a few truly are. Behold the names below and bask in their specialness. A Special Friend can face adversity safe in the knowledge that, at any given time, there are at least three teacups being raised in their honour.
Respected Gentleman or Lady of the Order of the Sacred Teacup
Regardless of temperament, a Respected Gentleman or Lady of the Order will experience adventure at some point in their lives. Often more than once. Frequently on a weekly basis but never on a Tuesday at quarter past four. There is in fact one winging it’s way towards them at this very moment on actual wings.
Esteemed member of the Order of the Sacred Teacup
Elemental Princes pause in their business to nod respectfully when esteemed members of the order pass by, Sirens falter in their song, trying to find just the right note of praise. Such is the magnificence of these delicious few, even the Cyber-Baroness of Devlon 5 quietens her never ending burp-cycle when they draw near.
Inner Tea Circle
The first rule of the Inner Tea Circle is that you don’t talk about bottoms. Unless they’re very nice bottoms. Tom Hiddleston’s bottom is always an appropriate topic of conversation, no matter the time. The second rule of the Inner Tea Circle is that the only thing better than tea, is tea and cake. And the only thing better than tea and cake, is tea, cake and a nice chat about Tom Hiddleston’s… many talents.
Those Above All Others
Some people are so incredibly wonderful, so kind, generous and talented that there exists only one phrase capable of containing their puissant majesty. We would tell you what that phrase is but the very mention of it would release three demons, start seven apocalypses and cause at least one middle-aged man in the Tunbridge Wells area to stop what he was doing to exclaim: ‘Goodness me!’
So for the sake of public safety and common decency let us just say that they are bless poppets and we love them dearly.
* An increase of up to forty percent has been observed in some cases.